Only You – Monday 24th March 2025

It’s no secret that when it comes to romance, I’m pretty jaded. Like all jaded people, I started off at the opposite end of the spectrum, full of wide-eyed optimism, and to be honest, that’s a state of mind I’d like to return to, but life happens and teaches you otherwise.

I’ve not had any luck with dating apps, and can attest to the fact that Indian men have the lowest rate of matches; still, it’s so late in the game, that I have to keep all options on the table. Consequently, I downloaded Hinge. Again.

Anyway, back to the movie.

I needed some escapism; something from a simpler time. So I put on this film from thirty odd years ago, which I’d never seen before, and I have to say, it hit the spot, and then some!
It was SO damn good! I loved it!!

I think mostly because it was so unexpected! The film’s genius is that it taps into every singleton’s subconscious belief in ‘destiny’, or ‘fate’, that out there, there is someone you’re meant to be with. What separates the protagonist of this film from the rest of us, is that she actually steps outside her everyday life, travels to a foreign country, and actually tries to meet the person she believes she’s meant to be with! Whereas people like me can’t even be bothered to travel to the other end of London!
What follows is a visual delight, as we get to see Italy looking exactly as we imagine it to look. Seriously, if ever a landscape was made to facilitate romance, then Italy must be it; which makes their collapsing birthrate all the more mystifying!

Another genius aspect of this film’s storytelling, is how they delay the introduction of the male lead for as long as possible; usually ‘boy meets girl’ at the beginning of the film. The result is, the audience longs for his introduction as much as the girl!

The icing on the cake is the chemistry between the two leads; honestly, after watching this, I felt like Marisa Tomei and Robert Downing Jnr, were made for one another; it also adds a new dimension to their on-screen ‘reunion’ in Avengers Civil War.

By the end of the film, I felt a renewed sense of optimism; romance is still possible, you just have to get out there and make it happen! Travel if you need to, but do something! You see, that’s the power of a good movie: it transports you mentally and emotionally, and can give you hope in dark times.

I felt good.

It was close to 3am, and I had just received a message from a girl on Hinge! Man, she was a stone cold stunner! I could scarcely believe how instant a change of perspective could take effect!

The next day, this beauty and I went back and forth, exchanging messages. None of this ‘waiting for two days or a week to respond to messages’ that girls usually do. In fact, by the end of the night, the girl said she was free tomorrow, if I fancied meeting?

WTF? This was all too good to be true. In the back of my mind, a voice was telling me that life is never this easy, and that like ALL experiences with girls from dating apps, this too would do a 180 and become something negative (call it the ghost of trauma’s past). I did my best to overpower any doubts, and maintain my new found romantic optimism!

The next morning, I messaged this beautiful girl: “You still up for meeting later?”

No response.

The problem with dating apps is that every person you chat to, is also chatting to other people, so the minute they get a ‘better offer’ or match with someone closer to their ideal, they ghost you.
This experience was nothing new, unfortunately, so I went about my day, grateful for the brief flutter of butterflies. At this point in my life, that too is something to cherish, because it literally never happens any more.

Then, in the afternoon, the girl responded: “I am if you are??”

Ah, the flood of endorphins and optimism washed over me completely.
We exchanged more messages, and it was hard not to let my imagination run away with the possibilities; after all, I am nothing if not a dreamer. It had been a while since I was this excited to meet someone, and I was enjoying that feeling.

With an hour or so until we were meant to meet, the girl asked if we could talk on the phone first?
I hate talking on the phone, to anyone, from my parents right down to my lifelong friends. When it comes to having a ‘chat’, it’s either real life or messages for me. But if a beautiful girl asks to speak to you on the phone, you don’t wanna come off as a weirdo and say ‘no’. In retrospect, that’s exactly what I should have said!

So I call her, and she doesn’t pick up. She phones back a bit later, telling me she’s just going to the gym, and that I should find somewhere in her area to meet, and message her when I’m there.
“Flat Iron are giving out coupons for free Ice Cream. Should I get one?” She mentions, off the cuff.
“You probably have to buy a steak.” I respond, without thinking.
“It says free?” She adds.
“Check the T’s&C’s” I laugh. “Besides, I’m vegetarian”
She hung up.
Within the space of a few seconds, she had unmatched and blocked me; a few seconds for everything to come crashing down.

So much for my renewed romantic optimism.

I was so high with imagined possibilities, that I sunk equally low with actual realities. Why would a beautiful girl like that wanna go out with a guy like me?
Because I’m fcuking awesome!!

...well, turns out, it wasn’t my awesomeness that she was after, but a free steak.
How can one not be cynical in a world like this?

Sigh. Anyway, the point of this story is simple: don’t believe everything you see in the movies!