..and you're still trying to figure life out.
There was a time when you wouldn't settle for less than the absolute, ABSLOUTE best??
I know many of you still think that's the case, but come on man, lets be real; life has taken its toll.
Pretty soon, your aspiration for the perfect partner isn't the 'super-model' with a heart of gold, but simply the pretty girl that isn't as horrendous as all the other girls you've met... The perfect job consists of anything that pays the bills and lets you go on the occasional holiday, and if you're doing really well, leaving you something for savings and a pension.
It's just the way it is.
Letting go of old dreams and replacing them with new ones.. more practical ones.
Who you thought you were meant to be is not actually the person you were meant to be...
You weren't meant to be that person that lived a 'rock-star' lifestyle and changed the world with your unique talents...
No. You were meant to be an administrator or an accountant, or an I.T. guy/gal...
It's just the way it is.
Fcuk that sh!t!
Life is no accident!
You didn't just get that job because you fell over it when someone else chucked it on the street!
When you had that great night out, it wasn't because you just randomly fell victim to a great night out!
When you finally met a girl that took you out on a first date, it wasn't because we live in an equal society and that's just a normal part of it!
It's because you stepped up and made it happen!!
On each occasion!!
Except the last one.. because I've never actually heard of that happening..
Point is, even if you met the person of your dreams by 'accident', it wasn't an accident that one of you had the guts to make the first move!
You want something to happen, you MAKE it happen!!
Don't get me wrong, we need to change and adapt and roll with the punches; and in no way do I underestimate the task at hand.
With the pressures of modern life it seems harder than ever to eek out a life, let alone create the perfect job (I think the days of 'getting' the perfect job are long gone for most of us- especially those of us without 'connections'. If we want the perfect job, we have to be entrepreneurs and create it)- and PLEASE don't even get me started on trying to find the perfect partner!
In that regard we seem to be dealing with the most fickle, flaky, selfish, self-entitled and unkind crop of humans in the history of mankind!! (whatever happened to the golden rule? Treat others how you wish to be treated?)
Yes, time's racing past, and decisions have to be made, fast. But your efforts HAVE to be equal to your desire!
I'm telling myself more than I'm telling you.
If you want it bad enough, you'll find a way...
Or as the meme that I saw a while ago put it:
'If it's important you'll find a way, if it's not you'll find an excuse.'
Amen to that brother.
But I will tell you this much, the road is longer than you ever imagined and harder too; you need to be resilient and thick skinned, and even then, you may only ever be one bad rejection away from throwing in the towel...
It's character building and it gives you plenty of stories to tell... I tell you, I've got SO much character by now I hardly know which one I am! As for the stories? Stay tuned and you might see some familiar events turn up in my movies! (Should give all you ladies a shiver down the spine! Although any likeness to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, etc etc etc.)
It always boils down to how badly you want it, whatever it is.
Badly enough to smile through the pain and keep going?
Speaking of smiling through the pain and carrying on, what's the latest in my ongoing journey to hit the movie-making big time?
Well, I crumbled.
I started an instagram!
I know I know, what's that got to do with making movies and who the hell wants to see selfies of me in my underwear making a duckface?! (On a serious note, if you DO wanna see that shiz let me know, and I will TOTALLY do it! Anything in the name of a 'like')
Which brings me to the point.
Success in the arts (or in 'life') is just one big popularity contest and being popular is harder (or easier for some) than it's ever been, as you're literally competing with any of the millions of people with a smartphone or an internet connection!
The days of being modest; allowing your talents to slowly reveal themselves, to be discovered over time and occasionally surprising people are prehistoric!
Nowadays to progress past a person's casual first glance, you have to put it ALL on the table, especially if you hope to hold their attention.
It's not only true of a career in the arts, but in dating too! Which is even more worrying, especially for those of us who remember how it was back in the days when you actually had to get to know a person before you started ignoring them!
You've got five seconds and I wanna see EVERYTHING that's BEST about you or.. look there's the next candidate; see ya later!
It is what it is.
Just as in the 1800's they had to make do with online deliveries via horse drawn carriage, so too do we have to just make do with the inconveniences of our age and deal with it.. like people that go to bars and clubs and don't want to meet 'new' people unless it's through swiping on their phone (sounds like I've got an axe to grind doesn't it? Haha).
That's the world we live in, and just like atmospheric carbon levels of 400ppm, I don't see a way back.. unless we cut the internet, but that won't solve the climate crisis, although it might restore our attention spans and force us to focus long enough on one thing (or person!) that we might solve the problems we face.
Now I'm as private as every other mother trucker that posts their entire life all over the interwebs; more so I'd say. I mean, sure I have a Facebook, a Twitter and now an Instagram too, but they're all full of fake sh!t and fake friends too ...oh wait. You too?!!
OMG! Is everyone on the internet fake??!!
Anyway, what was I talking about? (Got distracted by the ol' internets again)
My journey and signing on to yet another social media platform!
My sister sent me a video by 'Gary V' and one the things he talked about was, amongst building an audience, documenting your process.
It's not even for the 'audience' (don't tell them!), I do it for myself, so I can look back and see what I've done. Therefore I only post stuff relating to my profession. My private life is private, and hopefully it will stay that way until I publish my 'tell all' book.
Also, I work in isolation, and I need to get my validation from somewhere (because I sure as hell ain't doing this for the money!)! So when a stranger who doesn't know me (hence why he's a 'stranger'!), 'likes' something I've posted, or gives my work some kudos, I get a kick. A dopamine kick to be precise, and it's enjoyable.. and.. it's addictive!
Sooner or later I'm drowning the world with all my useless postings and attention seeking shenanigans, and then by playing this 'game' I'm just as guilty of perpetuating it as those that have thrust it upon us in the first place!
You're guilty too, afterall, what brought you to this page?
So now what?
What The Fcuk Do We Do?
I mean, even if you're one of the sensible ones that refuse to take part in the game, you're still forced to deal with all the crazies that are consumed by it.
That my friend, is what life's journey is all about.
Making your way, learning, adapting and coping with the insane world and insane people around you; hoping you make it to the other side alive, healthy and still following your heart.
That's all I'm trying to do anyway.
Not gonna lie;
the longer I don't reach my goals, professional AND personal, the tougher it becomes.
The psychological battles are the hardest.
Should I continue? Should I turn back? Should I give up and just get a 'normal' job? (whatever the hell that is). Am I doing the best thing for myself? Have I wasted my life? Am I STILL wasting my life?
Is this really what I want, or am I just being stubborn??!!
Have I given it my absolute best shot and tried my absolute hardest??
There's no going back until the answer to that question is yes.. and even when I do reach my goals, the answer to that question will never be yes, because there's always something more to give.
That my friend, is the life of a dreamer.. of an artist.. and no matter how people wax lyrical about how 'I didn't choose this life, this life chose me', as if it's some profound cosmic destiny, the truth is, you did choose this life, and you're free to leave it or change it any time you want.
It always boils down to how badly you want it.
Again, I'm telling myself, more than I'm telling you.
Ok, now where was I?
In my bedroom; where I always am!
I saw the best Instagram post recently. It simply said:
'NOTHING CHANGES, IF NOTHING CHANGES.'
So in that spirit, I literally need to pack! Got a flight in less than three hours and here I am finishing this blog! I'm off to India to clear my head, recharge my batteries, find a wife and ready myself for the journey ahead!
Joking about the wife thing.
See ya soon!!