So last time I was talking all about 'success' right? And how much of a vital ingredient 'Enthusiasm' is in the whole mix...
The other vital ingredient is Rock-Solid INTENTION!
Together they are the lethal combo that will ensure that you cannot fail!!
A quick disclaimer: all the self-help GOLD that I impart in this blog is based on nothing but my own scientific 'Life Experience', that in itself should provide you with all the guarantee you need.
I mean, I didn't just make this sh!t up so I could NOT make money from you reading this blog y'know!
Anyway! As I was saying.
Think about it.
Human-Beings are powerful creatures. If we make up our mind that we WANT something, and we go about attaining that thing with boundless enthusiasm, going from failure to failure with that same enthusiasm, then we WILL get what we WANT (unless it's out of stock; in which case, you're on yer own man!)
But the problem is.. that intention part.
Most of us are too scared to be honest, even to ourselves, about what we actually really WANT, so our intentions are confused and so are the actions that follow.
The results of such 'wishy-washy' intentions are less confused: you don't get what you 'kinda' wanted...
Each day I know EXACTLY what I want to achieve, but enthusiasm is often low, so I usually avoid the task in-front of me by wasting time online or just doing other stuff.
Similarly, when my enthusiasm is high and my intention isn't 'Rock-Solid' (and crystal clear), I find myself all geared up to write, but I don't know WHAT to write! So I get stuck in that 'analysis paralysis' of endless research, trying to inspire some 'intention' in myself.
Work, relationships, going out and having a good time, it all comes back to Intention and Enthusiasm.
Know exactly what you want to achieve, then go about getting it, with enthusiasm!
Looking for love, or a partner, or both?
Pretty straightforward question right?
It's CRAZY how many people can't answer that question to the point that they will actually DO SOMETHING about it!!
The intention may be there, deep down, but the enthusiasm is nearly always missing. Or the enthusiasm is there, but they don't know what they want!!
You have to be absolutely certain about what you want if you're to have any chance of attaining it!
I don't mean specifics like 'blonde hair, blue eyes', or sh!t like that (although, if it helps, why not), I mean, if you want to go out on a Friday night and meet someone, actually go somewhere where that WILL absolutely happen!!
Not somewhere that it 'might' happen.. if the stars align or if the people get drunk enough, etc. etc.
Like, I'm all dolled up just in case I might meet someone, but I'm going to an old man pub where there's never any chicks. Hmm, enthusiasm yes, intention, not so much.
If I was REALLY intent on meeting a girl on a Friday night, I'd get my ass to a singles night, or go speed dating, or salsa dancing.. somewhere that people actually go.. to meet other people!!
The absolute worst thing, is doing NOTHING about what we want.
You're driving the car that is your life- if you want (your life) to arrive at a certain destination, you're the one that's going to have to drive it there!!
Our lives are a direct result of the actions we took (or didn't take) to get to where we are at this precise moment.
I'm telling myself more than I'm telling you... Trust me! I'm readjusting my direction and trying to gather up momentum.. get that wind back in my sails! Just sharing my thoughts in case any of you peoples out there need a bit of direction or wind in your sails too...
Don't complain about it not happening if you're not doing anything to make it happen!
Know exactly what you want to achieve, then go about getting it, with enthusiasm!
Okay, so now that we know all this, lets make a deal: lets come back here in just over a week's time- say Sunday 7th of February, and share stories of the AMAZING things we achieved between now and then..
It MUST be an AMAZING story though!
Maybe you'll go out and have the courage to approach the person that could be 'the one'!
Maybe you'll surpass your goals at work and I dunno.. make lots of money (or whatever else it is you people do at work)..
Don't make it a 'maybe', MAKE IT HAPPEN!!
You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine!
See you back here on the 7th
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill.
We've seen the quote on various memes a thousand times by now, yet whenever you DO go from one failure to another, the last thing you feel like is a success. 'Loser' seems more likely. And if you don't already feel like a loser, there's plenty of haters out there that will do their best to make you feel like one!
The first step to success is getting rid of all the negative Mo-fos in your life!
I'm a pretty confident geezer, but despite being more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been, and in-spite of all my many years of life experience and all the things I've learned, I STILL feel like a rank amateur. Sometimes.
Because I want to be a master of life!!
To be good at every thing I do, socially and professionally!!
To 'want' is not enough. We must Do.. and that's when most of us get in trouble...
"Once bitten, twice shy"
It's hard to be bad at something and then want to do it again. Instead, we often go from one failure to another failure (at something else), until we find that thing we're good at and then carry on doing that for the rest of our lives!
Here's a story that most people in London can probably relate to:
'I tried talking to a stranger once. NEVER AGAIN!!'
If you're good at chatting up girls in bars, then all you want to do is 'rinse and repeat' that formula- similarly, if you're bad at it, hitting up a bar to chat-up chicks is probably the last thing on your mind.
We are emboldened by success and put off by failure.
It's just the way we work.
So what's the point of all this pontification?
Welllll... when you actually DO meet those poor fools that go from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm, you must applaud them.
That isn't a suggestion folks, that's an order: APPLAUD THEM!!
Because theirs is a journey that most of us never have the courage to make, let alone the fortitude to survive!!
That's where I come in.
Like you, there are many times when I've tried something new, felt humiliated at my inability to master it straight away, and shied away from ever trying that again!
But there are also many things in which I do go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm, and when I meet someone who went through those same struggles, faced the same doubts and ridicule and made it to the other side, the advice is always the same: 'Persevere'.
This is the third iteration of this blog, and my 4th blog overall.
The previous incarnations were heavily criticised and could be deemed 'failures', yet here I am, still writing.
The same is true of my film career. Here I am, not yet in the big leagues, but still moving forward as best I can, when the sensible thing to do is quit and try something new; something easier to master.. like admin work or data entry (I literally was a master at stuffing envelopes though! Just ask around).
That said, life is short, and you just don't have the time to master everything you'd like to master!
Know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.
If you're passionate about something... you don't need me to tell you what you should be doing. Just do it.
Listen, I'm not here to lecture you (says the guy after delivering a lecture!), but just to share the lessons of life we all need reminding of every now and then..
Whatever it is you want to do, don't be put off by failure. I'm telling you as much as I'm telling myself!!
Years ago, I found myself in a foreign country for a couple of days before the rest of my posse arrived. I went out partying by myself for the first time in my life. EVER!
I totally rose to the occasion, chatted to loads of people and had a great time!
The next time I found myself in a foreign country by myself, I was emboldened by my previous success.. 'I am gonna OWN this town!!' I thought..
And you know what happened?
None of the crazy fools I met wanted to know me!! (I know!! It's So INSANE it belies belief!!)
I was shunned and made to feel a fool (by other fools no less!!).
I went out three nights in a row, and each night was worse than the last.
You'd think I was out in Ealing or something.. but I wasn't!!
Upon reflection, it was nothing to do with the place. It was me.
Each night, my enthusiasm waned and got less and less.
Going from failure to failure is not worthy of merit, but maintaining enthusiasm is!!
That's the secret to success: Enthusiasm!
I'd much rather work with someone who may be a little rough around the edges, but is full of enthusiasm, than someone who is highly polished but clearly doesn't want to be there!
I LOVE going out to bars and clubs; an appetite that has long since diminished in my friends.
But despite wanting to be out on the tiles every weekend, I mostly end up doing other things...
I have NEVER been out by myself since those nights I crashed and burned in that foreign country; ruled by the memories of my previous failures and the fear of failing again.
Am I going let that stop me from living the life I want to live?
Not any more!!
I will repleNish my enthusiasm and keep it high.. somehow!!
Talking about fear of failure and going from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm, I'm guilty of not following that same advice in writing this very blog!
I've written and deleted the final paragraphs of this blog at least three times so far. Why? Because I end up getting too personal about my own life, and from the previous blogs I've written, I know that is NEVER a good idea!!
People jump to conclusions, think they know me and then think they have the right to judge me and comment on my life.
As every slut with a tattoo that says 'Only God Can Judge Me' knows.. Only God can judge me!
And as every atheist will tell you, God doesn't exist.
So in the end, the best advice is..
Live, Learn.. and whatever you do, do it with Enthusiasm!
If you fail, dust yourself off, learn, be MORE enthusiastic, and do it again!!
..and so on and so forth.
Next time, no pontification or advice.. and probably no blog either!!
See you in two ;)
It was Saturday, December 26th 2015.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
Woke up at 1pm. Fresh as a daisy and full of energy. Ready to take on the world and win!
If there's one thing I've learned on my travels, it's that life won't come to you while you're sat at home waiting for shit to happen, or worse still, waiting for your friends to take the lead.
We each have our own lives to lead.
They have their priorities and you have yours. Sure, when your interests align and you do stuff together, it's awesome! Great times are had, amazing memories are made. Through those experiences friendships are cemented and you will always be friends.. BUT! If I want to do something that none of my friends do, I shouldn't let that stop me from doing it! Nor should I resent them for it either!
We go through life trying to latch on to others, looking for someone to hold our hand; taking comfort from shared experiences. Friends, lovers, husbands and wives...
Doing stuff alone often feels like the ultimate social faux pas. Yet, that is what our journey through life is. A solitary experience. No matter how close you are to someone, they will never think and feel or experience life as you do.
And as every thirty-something singleton will tell you, there comes a time when all your crews are busy with their families or their career aspirations and the only options you have left are to sit at home and do nothing, or brave the gasps, insults, humiliation or pity, and do stuff. ALONE.
Adventures rarely happen while you're sitting at home, but life happens regardless of whether you're taking part or not (or 'while you're making plans', as the saying rightfully says).
So, while I really felt like doing something that fateful Boxing Day, I didn't have anyone to do it with.
There was a free Tango taster event at London's Southbank Centre, but I only found out about it as it was about to finish. That would have been perfect. A chance to interact with randoms and have a good time, maybe even meet a sultry latin dancer.
I stood at my computer (sitting is bad for your back people!), listening to Adele's 25, and writing down my thoughts...
I know, every angst ridden girl can totally relate, right? Haha.
Then I thought 'f**k it.'
I packed a few essentials, jumped on the tube straight to Heathrow and figured I'd buy a flight to some exotic location and just wing it. Live life. Be spontaneous and daring for the first time in my life.
I couldn't believe I was doing it, but I was proud that I was. Filled with nervous excitement at the possibilities that lay ahead.. I felt invigorated! The years melted away. Youthful exuberance taking the place of weary cynicism.
The prices were an unfunny joke; what did they think I was? A successful filmmaker?!
Screw it. I was here and this was going to happen no matter what.
The adventure lay in wait...