The term 'Bitches' is meant for humorous purposes only and in no way should be inferred as a derogatory statement about bitches.. I mean women.
I know, I know!
I said I wouldn't blog about chicks, but dammit, I need to get this off my chest... I need the therapy!!
So check it out. I met up with this chick friend of mine recently.. I've fancied this chick for quite a while (I can't help it! I have a thing for beautiful women!), but I only revealed my feelings to her relatively recently. I finally tried it on with her, she recoiled in disgust, we laughed, I thought I could change her mind, she vehemently disagreed, we remained friends, you know, that old routine!
Anyways, we're deep in conversation.
This chick falls into the '1% of chicks' bracket.
That's the 1% of chicks on the planet that don't find me very funny.
Girl needs a sense of humour more than the U.S. needs rain! (bit of topical humour for you all)
She's telling me all about how she's open minded, willing to give every guy a chance, into geeky guys (Hello?? I write, I draw, I make movies! Don't hold it against me just because I'm also tres cool!), dropping major hints on her sexual permissiveness, whilst also maintaining her sweet 'girl next door' allure!
She knows I got a thing for her (a very big throbbing thing! Haha!).
Even after she shut me down like I was a nuclear power plant about to go critical, I still maintained my charm!
And she kept doing it.
Each time I'd try and insinuate the two of us being more than just a guy that likes a girl and a girl that doesn't want anything to do with that guy, she'd shut me down again!
Finally, she tells me she doesn't go for looks and is attracted to personality (which in my head means she's f**ked A LOT of ugly mother truckers! ..which she probably has) and she doesn't find my personality 'suitable'.
It's the biggest insult my ego can take.
She's not attracted to me physically, which is always hard to take, but worse than that- she doesn't like my personality either!
Hell woman, you may as well have said that I just don't cut it as a human being!
I mean, for f**k's sake, not attracted to my personality??!
Me, the man that is ALL about the personality!
If you wanna call into question my physical appearance, then go ahead.. you racialist! But to reject me on the grounds of personality?
That's just cold.
I mean, I like this chick. Obviously.
But as much as I really want to, I don't think I can see her again. Like, EVER!
Who needs to be reminded of rejection every time they look at a person?
Knowing that she's dating, banging and loving EVERY other guy that aint me?
Life's too short.
But life's definitely too short for that shit.
I aint got time to be longing over some lost cause. Not anymore. Those days were painful enough when I did have time.
I'm better off wasting my time with a chick that I have no future with, who appreciates me, rather than wasting my time on a chick that I might have a future with, who doesn't.
And that's the mother trucking problem.
The only chicks that will give a me a chance are the kind of chicks I don't really want to date (longterm).. whereas the chicks I really want to date, won't even risk a chance...
Ouch man. That hurts.
So where does that place my value?
What am I worth, if not even worth the risk of a possible romance?
It's like you don't even want to open your mind to the merest possibility of allowing yourself to feel an emotion towards this human being (me).
It's not this one chick either.. It's practically EVERY chick that I've ever known or come into contact with!
I've only ever dated the wrong type of chicks (not relationship material) because the right type of chicks don't want anything to do with me. Or worse than that, they just want to be friends!
Gets to the point where you begin to re-evaluate your concept of what makes a person 'right' in the first place.
Take ho's for example; everyone can agree that they're the 'wrong' type of chick, yes? Yet there's a period in history when all the artists used to fall in love with prostitutes, because those were the only chicks that ever showed the artist any affection. Sure, he paid for those affections, but at least he got that warmth of human emotion from somewhere...
That's all we crave in this world people. The warmth of human emotion...
Pretty chicks have no appreciation for that shit, 'cos they get it from all angles.
Maybe that's why beautiful women are often so cold hearted, or so quick to transfer their 'emotions' from man to man as easily as they're putting on a pair of shoes (the same could be said of men that get 'love' from loads of chicks).
Artist folk like me treasure the romanticism in life, probably because we live by these ideals that no one else adheres to, or appreciates.. or even f**kin' NEEDS!
People don't need romantic ideals!
They need practical solutions to life's problems!
I mean, check it.
I'm an Artist.
No man can view the world in the same way as me; see it as I do, feel it as I feel it, write about it as I write about it, or paint it as only I can paint it.
But you think chicks give a damn about these qualities in a man??
It don't amount to a hill o' beans in this world that I can do all this.
'Why strive for excellence when mediocrity is all that is required?'
I'm better off being some boring-ass fat ugly mother trucker with a boring job and a steady pay check! At least that way I might stand a chance of contributing something to the human gene pool!
It's no wonder the human race is so f**cked up when they're the ones deciding who's babies to have!
This goes for guys and girls:
If a person cannot and WILL NOT recognise your worth, no matter how much you might like him or her, then that person does not deserve to know you.
Cut that mother trucker out of your life.
Sure, they'll still want to be friends. Who the f**k doesn't want to be friends with someone who fancies you?? It's an ego boost! To know you always have the option of that loser that pines over you.. just in case the rest of the human race drops dead!
But do you want to be that loser pining for that person that will give EVERY other person a shot at their affections, bar you?!
You deserve more, and so do I.
God knows I've been a sucker for most of my life. It's how I want to spend what's left of my life that matters most now.
Don't let how others perceive you or how others treat you define you.
If they leave you feeling like trash, doesn't mean that's what you are.. or what you should become.
Yeah, so what no 'decent' girl wants to know me?
Does that mean I'm condemned to see out my days with chicks I know are no good for me, just because they're the only ones that give a damn about me?
Or does it mean I hold my head up high, prove to the world that I am someone worth giving a shot to (that's all I ask people, one shot, not a f**kin' marriage proposal!!), and keep on searching for that 'right girl'??
I mean, so many chicks become sluts, because one or two guys treated them like trash. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm not a chick and I don't roll that way.
Just because a chick doesn't want to 'invest' in me (as a person), doesn't make me worthless. It just means that chick is f**king INSANE!
Listen to me.
All bitter 'n shit.
Yeah I'm bitter! So what?!
Buy me another drink and stop your bitching!
F**k it y'know.
You can't force people to like you. It's that simple.
At best, you can try and change their mind, if they give you that opportunity. But if they insist on being a lesbian or a racist, there's not much you can do.
Sure it hurts when you like someone and they don't reciprocate, but that doesn't mean you should put that person on a pedestal. Everything happens for a reason. There are better people out there just waiting to be met...
I've only got one question:
WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY??!
What I want to do right now is go out, party, meet a tonne of new chicks and have some fun. Too bad I don't have the friends or the money to do that. What I need to do is forget about chicks for a while (God, I wish such a thing was possible) and just focus on sorting my damn life out!
..If only I knew how.
Time's getting on.
My luck with chicks is pretty damn atrocious right now...
Still.. it could be worse.
I could be married.
See you on the dance floor bitches!
"..Her ass was like THIS big!" Click on the image for all the photos!!
MAN!! I am LOVING London during the Olympics!!
Not only is Team GB laying the smack down (we are a nation not used to doing well in major sporting tournaments!), but my beloved London town is showing the world just how great it is!! The buzz, the atmosphere is AMAZING!! Everyone is happier and friendlier, the place just seems renewed with vigour.
AND, the Tube is running late everyday!! No more nightbus missions getting home!! YAY!! That alone is worth celebrating!!
Where was I??
Oh yeah, searching for a story and finally finding one..!
It was an old idea, but one that I'd been neglecting. Something I'd been working on for YEARS but had lost almost all my passion for... It was also the same idea I wanted to use for the Raindance Film Festival, before realising it was too ambitious for me to attempt.
All it took was a spark, and suddenly the passions were relit, burning as brightly as they once had.
Pulling off this idea for a 15-20 minute film in two weeks was daunting, but pulling it off for a 2 minute 20 seconds film in ten days.. I could do that??!
A prologue to my feature that I pitched (unsuccessfully) at last year's 'Empire Big Screen'.
'The Man That Killed The World'
Now that I had my idea, I just had to think of a way to execute it.
Now the basics of story telling are pretty simple; one add one has to equal three in a logical way that makes perfect sense!
You have to give the audience the resolution they want in a way they never saw coming.
Even for a two minute film, I wanted to stick to these storytelling principles. So whilst I can't really explain to you how I came up with the story (because basically, I DON'T KNOW!), I can tell you what I was trying to do.
SPOILERS ahead! Watch the film here if you haven't already and then read on.
Firstly I introduce the dynamic.
A character sent from the future to prevent mankind from dooming the planet. That's the character's dilemma. He quickly gets sidetracked when he falls in love, and then chooses the path of love instead of the path he was meant to go down (saving the world).
Uh-oh. Then he ends up being betrayed by the girl he loved (Pff. Who hasn't been there?? Bitches). Throwing a major spanner in the works. Now what??
The world is doomed and so is he.
So what does he do?
His bitterness turns him from potential hero to major villain. He's hell bent on making the planet's fate worse than it already was...
Hopefully the audience didn't see that coming, but even if they did, the ending totally messes with their expectations and no one will have expected it (because the film gives no clues alluding to it). The girl is some kind of agent working for a much larger organisation. She purposely sends the protagonist down this dark path..
'Everything went according to plan..'
What's the purpose of turning the hero into a villain??
Who's the boss??
What the bloody hell is going on??!!
Ah, all will be revealed in the feature film!
I never bank on winning these competitions, I just use them as an opportunity to further my own ambitions in whetting the audiences appetite and hopefully building some interest and anticipation for my grander film ideas...
Okay, so I had my story idea.
Time was short, the less filming I had to do, the better- I had a quick browse through the rushes I'd shot for my other shorts to see if there was anything I could recycle. There wasn't. So I hit up the internets and searched for royalty free stock footage...
Firstly, this took bloody Aaaaaaaaages!!
There was nothing for free!!
I couldn't believe it! This was the internet after all, built on the very foundations of stuff being free!! So I searched some more. FINALLY I found some resources which I'll share with you, just so you don't have to go through the same hassle I did.
You can use stock footage from these sites for free, providing you don't sell them on, or use them for commercial purposes, and provided you credit the sites.
Both are excellent resources and I used them both. The time lapse footage especially, from stockfootageforfree, really added some cinematic class to my short. You definitely have to take full advantage of every resource available when you're working with a pretty much zero budget.
I also scoured audiojungle for more affordable music that would fit my new vision.. this was a major pain, considering that I had pretty much no money and no time. Luckily the music I'd already purchased the rights to could fit my new vision. It had to, there was no other choice! I also found another piece of music which I could use for the latter section of the film.
The final piece of the jigsaw was the acting talent.
Thus far I've been extremely reluctant to use 'proper' actors in my shorts. Why?
Because I'm so self conscious about my work that I don't want to waste any professional's time on it. It's far easier to just use friends and get them to do you a favour for a few hours. There's also less expectation and hassle. I shoot very very fast. Three or four takes max. I just need the person in front of the lens to do what I tell them to do, and not 'act out' what I want them to do..
That said, I needed to step up my game. Challenge myself; work with people who's profession it is to act.
Also, I like actors, and I have enormous respect for the craft of acting. I've put myself in their shoes and done a few courses and not only did I love the process, but I loved the people. It was waaay past time I used people that had dedicated themselves to the craft of acting, and not just friends who were doing me a favour.
..Too bad none of the bloody actors out there wanted to work with me!!
(Not strictly true, but I had major persuading to do!)
Less than a week before the deadline and I was still in cruise control mode. I shouldn't have been, because it definitely came down to the wire, yet again!
I attended a boat party (I can't resist partying!) and dressed like a bloody tramp! Everyone was in suits and cocktail dresses, and there I was, in jeans, a t-shirt and boots!
That's another story that I won't really go into, but I definitely met some very cool people! (& a stunning chick!)
It was the City Academy summer party. City Academy are a London based organization that run courses in everything from dance to acting to filmmaking and even public speaking. My ulterior motive that night was to find me some actors! I had a load of business cards at the ready, but alas, most of the people there were friends of friends of people that had attended City Academy courses! There were only a handful of actors and none of them really fit the bill...
I had a good time, but now the race was on, and as ever, I was starting from the back.
The final weekend before the deadline was about to dawn, and despite my proclamations to not leave it to the last minute yet again, that's exactly what was happening.
I needed to shoot on Saturday, and when I woke midday on Friday, I still had no actors. Time to hit the internets!
This was the day I earned my producer credentials. Getting people involved, chasing them up, and organising the whole shoot. Of course, I ALWAYS do this with all my films, but because I usually use friends and family, it's never this arduous!
This was BY FAR the toughest day of the whole damn process!!
The night before I tweeted to various film and networking organisations on Twitter that I needed actors... Of all the organisations I tweeted (including Virgin Media, the organizers of the competition) the only people that re-tweeted my request were the fine folks at Raindance! Kudos my friends, nice to know that of all the many bodies that claim to support new filmmaking talent in the UK, one actually does!!
So I awoke with a few positive tweets from actors interested in appearing in my short; splendid! Too bad none of them fit the look I had in mind for my characters (that's essentially what it boils down to when winning roles.. yes, you have to be able to act, but primarily, you have to fit the 'look').
I don't want to relive the details of this day, but I pretty much ate breakfast and didn't eat again until after midnight!
I spent the entire day searching for actors and then chasing them up!
I began with trying to find the ideal actors to play the roles, and then ended up settling for wheoever I could damn well get at such short notice! I mean, if you're shooting all day Saturday, Friday afternoon into Friday night are not the best times to be searching!
I was very fortunate in finding a young talented lead by the name of Brice Sedgwick quite early on Friday afternoon, via Twitter. I contacted him, and then spent most of that day trying to persuade him to give up his Saturday (for free!) to appear in my short. Brice was a bit reluctant at first, understandably, considering we were complete and utter strangers, and said he'd agree to appear only if I could get an actress that he already knew to work alongside him..
One of the actresses that he recommended was perfect for the role, but she wasn't keen on doing it. The others just didn't fit the part.
FINALLY, after a few hours of back and forth tweeting and emails, Brice agreed to do the role. I asked him for his mobile number, and then.. nothing.
Meanwhile I still had an actress to find!!
I'd tweeted and Facebook messaged a tonne of 'so-called' actresses (I say 'so-called' 'cos pretty much every chick with a professional modelling photo also claims to be able to act!) and none of them even replied!!
The following is good advice to anyone. Enthusiasm and professionalism will do more for your career than just talent. There's no point in being talented if you're not enthusiastic about wanting to work, and you're not professional about how you treat the people you work with!
I mean Jeezus Jones!
When opportunity comes knocking, instead of politely refusing, these people aren't even answering the door, forget about screaming 'YES'!!
No wonder so many 'talented' people fall by the wayside.
Anyway, forget all that. Brice finally gave me his number and agreed to come round my house by half 12 (I knew I wouldn't be ready before then).
It was now 11pm, and I was at my wit's end with trying to find an actress. I'd gone from trying to find the perfect actress for the role to trying to find any actress at all, and still nothing!!
Finally, I turned to my trusty friend.. Facebook.
I scoured all the millions of chicks I know (haha- I WISH!) to see if any of them fit the bill.
Now, the girl that was to play the lead HAD to be really pretty. After all, she had to make a man fall for her at first sight, and then seduce him into abandoning his primary goal in life (don't you just hate it when chicks do that?).
Fortunately, when it comes to Facebook, I ONLY befriend pretty chicks, but still, she had to have something more... an innocent look about her too. You shouldn't be able to look at her and suspect that she'd turn out to be a major biatch!
Could I really afford to be this particular so late in the day??
I had to. That's part of being a filmmaker; sticking to perfectionism in the face of adversity!
There wasn't enough time to message anyone; I needed an immediate response, so I went on to the chat thingy to see who was online.. and there she was. My female lead.
A lovely acquaintance by the name of Merina Su (How cool are the names of my actors?? Brice and Merina! It's almost as if I picked them based on the coolness of their names!). Now, I say acquaintance because that's all Merina was. We met a couple of years ago at a dance class that neither of us attended again. I bumped into her a few times after that, but it was always just a polite 'hello' much to my chagrin.
Since signing my life away to Facebook three years ago, I've culled tonnes and tonnes of acquaintances. Somehow Merina had survived all these culls, probably 'cos she's a good looking girl, but now it seems like fate. Other good looking girls have been discarded, but for some reason, she remained.
Anyway, we chatted for a bit, got the preliminaries out of the way, and then I asked her. Bear in mind folks, it's now past 11pm and I'm asking a chick I hardly know to give up her Saturday (which is only one sleep away) to appear in my shortfilm at the shortest notice, and she said 'yes'!!
Now that is what I was looking for!!
ENTHUSIASM people!! At short notice!!
It WILL get you far in life!! Trust me!!
Man, I was shattered! But more than that, I was relieved!!
Chasing people up is SUCH hard work!!
Merina was perfect for the role, and I was hoping Brice would be too, but even if he wasn't, I'd make him perfect! That's what you have to do as a filmmaker; make perfection out whatever is available!! (no offence Brice!)
Now all I had to do was storyboard the damn film!!
After a much needed lunch break, I sat down, put on some choons, and drew...
I think I went to bed around 6am or something.. For my last short, I made a shot list and just winged it. That might work for some directors (the less visually inclined), but last time around, it really slowed me down.
I want to be able to see the shots on paper, and then capture them and tick them off. It REALLY speeds up the process.
A short sleep later, I got ready, made sure I ate breakfast and set about readying my room for Brice's scene.
Just as I was bout to start, Brice text me. He was here. On time. Dammit!!
I went and met him at the train station and brought him over. He had to sit around for a while as I tried to ready my room. Film actors often say that a large part of their time is spent waiting around until the set is ready for them to shoot. It's true, as Brice learnt that day.
I called upon the help of one of my oldest and dearest friends, Ranj Sandhu, just to help me during the shoot, carrying equipment and watching over stuff. Having an extra pair of hands is always a huge help. Luckily Ranj also stepped in at the last minute, cancelling whatever plans he had to help me out. He also agreed to be onset photographer and took some excellent shots that day!
Once those shots were done, we packed up my gear and headed to the mean manic streets of Oxford Street!!
Oxford circus was packed the hell out! As always!
I got a few shots in before Merina arrived.
Everything was moving smoothly and very quickly. I was telling Brice what to do, he would do it. I'd capture it on my trusty Canon 550D, and then we'd move on to the next shot! Beautiful.
Merina arrived and totally looked the part of traffic stopping beauty. I was getting ready to shoot her scenes when my battery died. No problem. I had a spare... which also turned out to be dead.
I never checked it before I left (MAJOR rookie error!!), but I ALWAYS recharge the battery after it runs out. Why the hell would I put a battery in my camera bag if I hadn't already recharged it??
Oh man, I was looking like SUCH an amateur!!
Both Brice and Merina were polite enough to mask their obvious disappointment at such a rookie error, but neither of them felt anywhere near as disappointed in me as I felt with myself.
Luckily Ranj kept a level head and suggested we pop into a café, get some drinks, and put the battery on charge. So that's what we did. By now we were also joined by one of Brice's fellow antipodean friends, and good thing too, because she helped keep spirits up and kept Brice occupied when he wasn't needed.
It was my bad, and my shoot, so I bought everyone a drink and a dessert if they wanted one. We were at Le Pain Quotidien on Great Marlborough Street, just in case I ever hit the big time and you decide to pay pilgrimage! In which case, have the scones man, they're nearly as yummy as the talent that frequents that joint (or so I hear.. I was so wrapped up in my own world I didn't notice any fit chicks for like the first time in years!!).
We got back to shooting and man, it was fun!
I think everyone enjoyed themselves and got into the spirit of trying to do their best. None of the actors gave me any problems; I'd ask them to do something, and they'd do it. Again, I'm not one for repeated retakes, so it all moved along pretty quickly without anyone getting bored.
I shot waaaaaay more than I could use, but it's always good to have options, because you never really know what shots will be the most effective to tell the story until you get to the editing process. After that, all the really cool beautiful shots usually end up on the cutting room floor 'cos they don't really serve the story!
Then came the part in the day for my own acting cameo!
Now, the cynical amongst you may think that I cast myself in that role simply because there was a kissing scene.
Those of you that think that obviously don't know me. Kissing random chicks is no big deal for a veteran like me. The fact is, it just wasn't worth getting someone else involved for two very innocuous shots.
Besides, a screen kiss is a very mechanical process, not at all romantic, and pretty damn awkward! Still, I had fun even if Merina didn't!
(and 'no' there weren't loads of retakes! ..Just like twenty or thirty..! Kidding.)
We needed an office environment to shoot in for Merina and I to walk into, but I had NO idea where we could shoot that! I'm not an office type of guy!
All we really needed was a door for us to both walk through, but again, where??
We were in Southbank, so popped into the National Theatre and asked if we could perhaps shoot there?? They said 'No', saying we needed prior permission, etc. etc.
So instead we popped next door and shot at the Royal Festival Hall. They're pretty damn cool over there. I shot my last film there too, again without permission. Just set up the camera and press record. Good advice for all filmmakers. F**k permission.
It was now around 9pm. Merina went off to attend a 'Bikini Beach' themed house party (I tried to persuade her to take plenty of pictures, but the fact that she took none says a lot about how awesome this party must've been! Next time folks, we're ALL gonna gatecrash that shizzle!). Me, Ranj, Brice and Brice's friend now made our way to shoot the night shots.
Plan was to shoot around Soho, but it was Gay Pride day, so Soho would have been impossible to shoot in.. We settled for Covent Garden and again it worked out beautifully. Got some really cool shots!
In all, everything worked out for the best for the entire shoot!
It was a really fun and enjoyable day, and I pretty much had all but one or two of the shots I needed. A productive day.. FINALLY!!
Afterwards Ranj and I indulged in some fine dining that I seriously couldn't afford, but you know what, even though I didn't make a penny, I earned it.
I shot fast and had time to edit.. so how come it was another last minute rush to make the deadline??
..And why wouldn't my actors share the damn film with their friends on Facebook??
Click in the image for the full photo album!!
Man... I need to sort my life the HELL out!
Kids, if any of your future children ever wanna become filmmakers, do 'em a favour. Beat the sh!t out of them and force them to go into a good respectable Indian profession, like medicine, dentistry, accounting or even porn! Anything but filmmaking!
That sh!t will f**k you the hell UP!
Ya get me?
Well then gather ye round, and let me tell you a tale.. a tale about messed up mother truckers and me, the last of a dying gentleman breed. An anachronisms too naïve and innocent for this cruel, cruel world...
Actually, scratch that, I'm sure you don't wanna hear that particular tale of triumph over adversity, so I'll tell you a different story.
For the past few months the Virgin Media Shorts competition had been at the back of my mind (what it was doing there I have no idea- it was supposed to be at the front of my mind dammit!). Ideas slowly gestating, waiting for that last minute panic when they would finally emerge, like a beautiful butterfly from it's chrysalis.
Meanwhile I'd been busy doing everything BUT spending my time wisely working on the film. Mostly I'd been continuing my never ending quest for a 'Happily Ever After' to my life story. I was having tonnes of fun and meeting all the wrong kinds of chicks (no change there then).
I was actually planning something far more ambitious than a two minute film. I really wanted to make a fifteen to twenty minute shortfilm to enter in the Raindance film Festival, and up until two weeks before the Raindance deadline in June, I actual thought I'd make it. But once again my ambition got the better of me. After developing an idea, I realised that a couple of weeks and a zero budget weren't enough to do my idea justice.
So with a heavy heart, I accepted defeat and turned my attention to the Virgin Media Shorts competition. I could deal with two minutes and twenty seconds... or so I thought.
The deadline loomed ever closer, like that fat chick in the club at 2:59am, a minute before closing time..
My last shortfilm 'Make it Happen' gave me my first ever taste of positive feedback, so I was pretty sure what direction my next 'ultra short' shortfilm would take...
I know I'll never win these shortfilm competitions, so I've decided to just use them as a means to promote myself or the 'Planet Nish' brand.
One thing was certain. Having always left it to the last weekend before the deadline, I was determined that this time things would be different. It wouldn't be yet another mad dash to make the deadline! This time I wanted to be able to add a little sparkle and professional polish to my film!
Two minutes isn't much to work with for my epic storylines, but it is the perfect length for a promo piece.
Whereas 'Make it Happen' was like a motivational piece to keep me motivated through this long and arduous journey in chasing my dreams, the follow up would show my more fun side.
It would promote the Planet Nish ideal that 'Life is an Adventure!'.
The first thing I do before I do anything when it comes to making shorts (and even in finding inspiration for features) is find the soundtrack!
I had found the perfect track on audiojungle.com (my source for using affordable legal music) and rinsed it to death!! Playing it over and over and over, whilst I imagined the shots and sequences in my head.
I made a few notes and sketches and even had a chat with the chick from 'Make it Happen' about making a cameo appearance.
It was gonna be good!
It might still be good.. if I ever decide to make it!
Those of you that have seen my entry to the Virgin Media Shorts competition will know I didn't roll with that idea.
The pursuit of chicks had left me once again feeling 'wise' to the true nature of humanity (bruised and battered more like!) and of love especially, and I wanted to share my new found wisdom with the world. So with little over a month until the deadline, I put my previous idea on hold.
It also didn't help that I kept getting the flu for weeks at a time, leaving me unable to do anything except surf Facebook (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!).
I pressed ahead with this new 'profound' film I had in mind. It was beautiful, full of beautiful people and detailing the true ugliness in all their empty words and declarations. I had found another beautiful piece of music on audiojungle and was so certain that this was the film I was going to make, I went ahead and purchased the rights to use it.
Weeks quickly passed and it looked like it would take some real effort to not only find my beautiful cast, but also all the locations I needed to pull this off.
I was undeterred. Stretching myself and being ambitious is how I prefer to do things. Hopefully each new project is more ambitious and daring than the last.
What was putting me off, however, was the cynical nature of the message I was attempting to tell.
Hard as it may seem to believe for the five of you that have not met me, I am seriously not a cynical person.
The opposite in fact.
I'm the biggest daydream believer you will EVER meet!!
I still believe that somewhere out there my Disney-esque fairytale ending exists, and depressing blogs aside, I'm having a hell of a fun time chasing that dream!!
But it was late in the day, and no other ideas were forthcoming.
It's now two weeks before the deadline.
I'm out partying at least twice a week, playing football, going to a certain dance class I don't care to mention (pole dancing), watching films, socialising with friends and writing blogs about the horrid women I'd met (is there any other kind??).
There wasn't much actual filmmaking going on.
Surely I should be rearing to go!!
I finally took time to pause, think and be honest with myself. This is absolutely essential in any creative process.
Always take time to reflect and more than anything, be honest with yourself!!
The reason I kept putting off making this film was because I didn't believe in the cynicism it portrayed. How could I make a film I didn't believe in??
So even after chatting to people about appearing in my short, I decided to scratch that idea and come up with something new.
Now, the following sentence is easy to write, but hardly does justice to the actual events it describes!
I sat down and thought long and hard about what story I wanted to tell.
The artists amongst you will know that this is a maddening ordeal. To try to force creativity and pluck ideas from nothing. I mean if you have something to say, conjuring up ways to say it is easy!
I had nothing I really wanted to say. No story I really wanted to tell. My blogs have been my therapy these past few months... I had nothing of a profound or worthy nature to say about life...
All I had were two minutes and twenty seconds of film time to fill, and no idea how to fill them.
To the untrained eye, those days looked like they were filled with procrastination, but here's the secret. Procrastination can be a good thing if you do it correctly. The trick is to expose your mind to as many thing's as possible. Make it a melting pot of EVERYTHING and then switch off and dream... let all the ingredients infuse and let the brain combine them in a way hitherto unimagined..
..Unfortunately even this wasn't working for me!
With ten days left until the submission deadline, I finally found my idea!
Like most good ideas, it had been under my nose the whole time!